As age 30 dawns on the horizon, it is the American Woman’s wake-up call. When the first streaks of light appear around 27, most of us continue on our way, getting up raising children or climbing the next rung in the ladder of our career. But in the back of our mind, a little thought erodes away at our routine. Are you ready? It is coming. There is no stopping it.
It is not that we fear age, although some of us do. It is an age where the carefree life of adolescence is disappearing and we realize that our bodies, our emotions and our brain need more than Taco Bell and negative energy. The goals we had planned to hit by age 30, are either a long way off or we hit them and now we are lost because there are more years to fill after 30.
We see media play this card time after time. A woman turns thirty still single and miserable with no date in site. I don’t even need to list titles at this point. You’ve seen at least one. The deal is, a man isn’t the instant fix. I am happily married and the curve ball still hit me. It has hit every woman I know from 27 to 35. Some handle well but the rest of us, it sends into a black hole.
At first, before my spiral to the obis. I assumed most women handled this land mark pretty well. As the streaks of the dawn of the age turned to a steady glow, the cracks in my observation were more apparent. Many women medicate with prosaic, ignoring the situation altogether. Others make knee-jerk reactions, like a new job, a baby, a new man, a divorce or traveling the world. None of which I will judge because guess what? We all have something in common. We Are NOT Happy within ourselves. Biologically, there are choices that have to be made in the next few years that affect every aspect of our being and we can no longer hide from them.
Why are we not happy? Because everything that we have been taught as little girls has proved untrue. Sure, a good man, children, or a great paying job are all wonderful things that can add to our happiness. Add being the key word. If you aren’t creating your own happiness and practicing self-care, the happiness gained from external aspects of your life will only be short-term.
Steps to creating your own happiness.
- Learn to love yourself for what and who you are. Stop hiding! A great place to start is being honest with yourself. Take all the crap that you have been told growing up by parents, friends, and media. Ignore it and dig. Need help. Try Madly in Love with ME: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend by Christine Arylo. I wish someone would have handed me this at fifteen, so I would have had the tools to build my self-esteem and respect myself and my body.
- Pray and learn to listen to God. When you are allowing Him to make the plans you won’t be disappointed. This step should be first but if you are not respecting and loving yourself, you will not believe that God loves you.
- Find a positive support system that encourages you to be the best you that you want to be. Family, friends, doctors and therapists can help. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help!
- Eat Healthy. This step is not out of place. If you eat sugar, caffeine all day, you will feel miserable about everything. If your body is not running efficiently on your diet, your brain won’t be either. Don’t believe me, do you? Try 14 days eating only fruit, vegetables and meat. I dare you!
- Exercise. Do it for your attitude, not for vanity. Exercising for vanity doesn’t stick. When you do it for your mood, you see immediate results. Within hours. It changes the feeling from a chore to a necessity to a happy life. Just 3 times a week for 30 minutes of breaking a sweat. The extra benefits of strength and a toned body after a few months are nice, too.
- Create new goals. Make a list of new goals you want to achieve in the future. It gives you hope and a desire to continue.
- List the things you have accomplished or that are unique to your life that many others may never do.
Finding happiness within ourselves, allows us to be thoughtful and present in our choices that affect us biologically. For a thirty year old woman, we are on the downward slope of reproduction. Childbirth comes with higher odds that something could go wrong. So serious decisions have to be made. Do we want motherhood or do we wish to increase the love in our house with another addition before hit the medical field’s dangerous childbearing number of 35? There is nothing wrong with our choice, but when we decide that motherhood and infants are no longer on our radar, we shut down a part of our womanhood for good. This is an emotional wave women ride out at thirty that men never face. But some of us don’t even realize that we are on it, which is why it so important to find happiness within ourselves before making big decisions. When emotional and dietary needs are met, we make better decisions that are not impulsive.
Find your happy first and embrace the decisions and new desires that come in this decade.
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