In the depths of #momburnout

You are already there. Your stomach is telling you that plate of brownies you just ate was a bad idea and you are reaching for the chocolate syrup you use to make chocolate milk for your kids. There is a pile of dishes, the laundry sits in a mess on the laundry room floor and the only thing you want to do is sit down in those dirty sheets and cry.

This isn’t what you expected and you’ve scrolled through your social media feeds and all you see is your other mom friends, hugging their kids, smiling because they are on holiday with the family. And you sit there, in those dirty sheets, tear streaks, and chocolate and think what the hell is wrong with me? (and yes, you cuss in your mind because no one can hear you and you’ve lost all will power to care).

Nothing. There is nothing wrong with you, Momma. You are burnt out. Yes, you still love your children and spouse but, by George, you don’t have to like them right now. Oh and drop the phone because searching for ways to avoid mom burn out when you are already there ain’t gonna help any more than that chocolate coma you are asking for. You’ll either find a mom telling you that you are being selfish and that self-denial is how you sanctify yourself (Yep I found it a few days ago. Don’t buy into this guilt-inflicting nonsense); or you find ways to avoid burnout which are not helpful because you ARE already there. You need CPCR (Critical Personal Care Right-now).

1. Bubble bath – throw on Daniel Tiger or the fifth rerun of Paw Patrol but do what you got to do. Add some lavender or favorite scents.
2. Trade with another mom. She watches your kids while you go for a walk, grocery shop ALONE, get a massage or whatever makes you remember you are a woman and you are important. The bonus: when you watch other kids. They entertain themselves and you get another few minutes of peace.
3. Get out of the house. Change the scenery. Go to the Rec Center, the park or a museum. If prepping kids and yourself seems too much. Find a dirt road and walk. The cows don’t care how many times you’ve worn those pants or if you haven’t combed your daughters’ hair this morning.
4. Say NO. No to whatever it is that your kids are involved in that does not bring you joy or give you a break. Sometimes just the stress of car seats, keeping kids out of traffic or from running people over at the grocery store is too much.
5. Night off. Plead a mental break and take the night off. Have your spouse take on all duties for the night and get out of the house or make a fort of blankets in your room and binge watch/read your favorite feel-good movie/book.

But most importantly please understand you are not alone. A job that requires 24-7 on call and the emotional rollercoaster of loving your little people needs a few hours of mental health hours or days, if you are lucky. Take what you can in moments alone for the sake of yourself and your family. A virtual hug to all my moms who are hiding in the laundry drowning in chocolate. I see you. I have been there and I will be again, but I know how to get out. Ask for help! Take the grocery run for milk alone.