Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Absolutely fabulous book. Ever notice how children do things just to see them happen? They have no shame, little fear, but they are full of great excitement and joy. Life hasn’t beaten them down and failure isn’t a scary word even found in their mind. I remember vaguely a life like that. A life where I knew my parents loved me even when I took a tumble and tried to carry the sack of potatoes when it weighed as much as myself.

But somewhere along the way, I lost that free spirit. Oh sure, she’d come up now and again but being shamed nailed me back down.  We as adults fear failure and shame. So often we have experiences in our lives that make us play safe. To protect ourselves from any possibility of hurt, the author reminds us we also keep ourselves from joy, love and from soaring to our full potential. This book digs into the science and emotions that we miss out on by not being vulnerable and being too freakin’ scared. Why? People forget and if they don’t, they wish they had the guts to do what we’ve done. The problem is we don’t forget.

You don’t see a one year toddler give up on walking after he falls down and his face hit the floor. No, he learns what doesn’t work. Studies the adults around him and tries again. What as adults has us petrified of failing? Shame. I hate shame. I have hated failure in the past because I thought as the end. The end of love and the end of whatever it is that I failed at. In reality, when I failed at something that I didn’t think was a big deal, it became a learning experience. I have always worn the perfection mask for fear people would see the imperfections and not love me. That same mask also hindered me allowing love into my life and instead offered gifts of anxiety, self-doubt, and depression. This fear of vulnerability scares the heck out of me but Brene Brown offers explanations and examples of how to let go and be vulnerable.

Sharing my writing makes me feel like I have walked naked onto a theatre stage, but that vulnerability is also so liberating because I am being who I am. Now I am learning to be vulnerable in sharing my love with no strings attached. To admit to my kids when I am wrong and know that they will still love me; that my husband will love even more when I show myself as the creative, unorganized nerd that I am. Sure the title is Daring Greatly but I think the author is really trying to say Dare to be AUTHENTIC. Real. Messy.

I can’t rave about this book enough. If you get nothing out of the first chapter, Parents, I beg you to at least read the parenting chapter because guess what we shame our kids. I’ve done it without even realizing that I have, that is until I see their face fall. It is a heartwrenching experience to see because we see it in ourselves. We can change when we acknowledge shame exists and still get up, dust our knees off and mover forward.

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